Darshan of Swami Krishnananda in 1998

by Swami Krishnananda

52. Who Is Meditating?

(Darshan given on December 30th, 1998)

Swamiji: Do you know why you are meditating? What is the purpose?

A visitor: I want to stop thinking.

Swamiji: When a person is sleeping, that person has stopped thinking. Can you call it meditation? Who told you all these things? Stopping thinking does not mean meditation. Then people can go to sleep the whole day because that will be meditation. Meditation does not mean stopping thinking. It is increasing the capacity of thinking in a definite way. That definite way you have to learn from some competent teacher.

Meditation is not unconsciousness. It is intense consciousness. You will become more and more happy, more and more secure, more and more comfortable, more and more fearless, and you will feel that you have got everything. If you have such feelings in you, then your meditation is going on well.

Meditation is done by our consciousness. What kind of consciousness? There is sensory consciousness, there is mental consciousness, and there is the I consciousness: I am. This 'I am' is the thing that meditates; the senses cannot. The senses are only servants of this pressure going outward. The mind is only corroborating with that. This is also no good. Pure mind itself cannot meditate.

You have to be one with the I of God, that's all. The consciousness should operate in such a way as if God Himself is contemplating on Himself. You expand your I wider and wider, wider and wider, wider and wider, until it includes everything. It is a simple thing. Everybody is an I only. Even an ant is an I only; it has got I-ness. It is not an object that you are seeing; it is a subject. There are no objects in the world. Why do you say it is an object, and all that? You look at me and call me an object, and I look at you and I call you an object. Then who is the object in the world? It is all only a juxtaposition of perception. It is an error. Everybody is an I only.

Now you close your eyes or open the eyes. I, I, I, I, I – everywhere is an I only that I am seeing. Oh, up to the stars, sun, moon also, I. Space also, everywhere I, I, I only. I am not seeing anything. Only I's are there. If the whole universe of I's are mixed together, it is a total I of God. What do you feel at that time? You will shiver like this. You are not seeing many I's outside. You yourself are that. You are a part of that. The whole ocean is meditating on itself. There are no objects in the world. There is no object of meditation. People say 'object of meditation'. It is a subject of meditation, really speaking. Everything converges into you. Imagine that you are the centre of the cosmos, and all the radii and circumference of creation converge into you.

Before creation takes place, sattva, rajas, tamas are in balance, and when the balance is disturbed by the weight of one thing against the other, then creation starts. Yoga is nothing but this samatvam. Samatvam yoga ucyate (B.G. 2.48): Equanimity, equilibrium, harmony, that is yoga. When you think, you are thinking everything. You should not have some objects outside. They are not objects; already you have decided they are subjects only. They are like you only. Everything is like you only. Nobody is inferior, superior to you. In the universe, superiority-inferiority doesn't exist. They are all varieties of operations of the One Being. But variety of operation... Even a policeman is a government, a patwari is a government, the tehsildar is a government, the District Collector is a government. Nobody is inferior, superior here. Everybody is a government only, only in different strata; in different strata they are functioning. Even a patwari can work like a government only, such power he has got.

So everybody is I only. I means God, or you may say government, whatever the case may be. So there is the total I. Total I means not so many I's are sitting outside. Outside means again they become objects. You should not say everybody is I, mountain is an I, let me see the I. That should not be done. The mountain is you only. So again, the externality mistake should not take place. You are not seeing the I's outside. There is one I. The I cannot be seen. It is a subject, and therefore, it is a great exercise to think like that. All the I's converge like this, and one master I, that is God. That is meditating. Oh, wonderful! The Almighty God is meditating. On what is He meditating? He doesn't see something outside.

This will bring joy, happiness, and some fruit will come. It doesn't come immediately. The effect of such meditation cannot be seen immediately. Sometimes you will feel nothing is happening. You get morose: “So many years I am meditating, and nothing is happening.” But you should not say like that. You must continue. The Brahma Sutra says you must continue meditation till death. If Providence is in your favour, liberation can take place in this birth. Intense meditation, intense meditation.

When you are doing work also, it is an I only. The work also is an I. It is not doing something, movement outside. The work is an emanation from your being, so it is not an object outside. “I am working, I am working, I have got, I have got.” You should not talk like that. The work is you only moving, and if you think it is an outside thing, then it will bind. That is called binding karma. If you yourself are moving in the form of karma, action, it won't bind because you cannot bind your own self. But if you say this is somebody's work I am doing, unnecessary drudgery, hopeless thing, then it will return back. A non-I will react in the form of karma phala. The I will not react. So it is the I that has to work, not the non-I. You should not feel that you are working for somebody's sake. Then it will bind. You are working for your sake only, in a larger fashion. The whole personality is expanding in the form of activity. It is not activity actually, it is yourself only moving among yourself. If an ocean's waves are dashing everywhere, it is not an activity of the ocean. It is itself inside. It is something taking place within itself, so it is not doing some work by dashing waves. So likewise, any kind of work that we do is only ourselves moving.