Sessions with Ashram Residents

by Swami Krishnananda

Session 17: What We Really Want

Living, existing—that is the greatest desire. You want only to exist. You don't want anything else because if you do not exist, all the other qualities have no meaning. But what kind of existence? A stone also exists, a pig exists; trees, animals, everything is existing. Do you want to exist like a pig? That you want only to exist is not a complete answer. It has to be qualified. Now you are putting a condition: you want to exist not as a tree or as a stone or as a pig, but as a human being.

Would you like to exist as a human being with nobody wanting you in this world? They spit at you, condemn you, throw stones at you and drive you out wherever you go. Would you like to exist as a human being in that condition? So it is not that you want to exist, merely. First you modified it by saying that you want to exist as a human being, and now you are saying that is also not sufficient. You must exist as a human being recognised by other human beings. So you want to expand your consciousness of existence to the social atmosphere. That is also not sufficient because your existence may be recognised by all people, but you are so poor that you have no food to eat. Now there is another condition. If they recognise you as existing but you are starving, that is no good. You also want food to eat because you have to live.

Now the question is, suppose people recognise your existence and give you food today, but tomorrow you are going to die. Is it all right? Then again you are putting another condition. You want to have a long life. How long? Three hundred years? But when two hundred and ninety-nine years are over, you will want to live longer. A person would like to live a hundred years, but when ninety-nine years are over, he is frightened in the same way as he was before. Even if you live a thousand years, when the time comes, you will not want to go. So it is not true that you want to live long. This answer is also not correct.

Yamaraj told Nachiketas, “I will give you such a long life, as long as the world lasts and the sun and the moon and the stars exist.”

Nachiketas replied, “My great Lord, you are very kind in giving me such a long life, but when the sun and moon and stars don't exist and the world also goes, what will happen to my long life? It will come to an end. I don't want it.” Even the longest life is short when it ends. So how long do you want to live?

One by one I am mentioning that firstly, you want to exist. Then your existence must be recognised by others. Then it must be a comfortable life. Then it must be not for a few days, but a long, endless life. You want to defy time itself, finally. Even then, you don't want to exist like a tall tree existing for a long, long time. You must be recognised by all people everywhere, and you must control the whole world, if possible. And what is above this earth? That also you want—the sun, the moon and the stars. You want to expand your being to universal dimensions. 'Universal dimension' means defying space itself. You want to defy space and defy time. This is what you want, finally.

I have never seen a person like Swami Sivananda, and we cannot hope to see another like that. He is not Sivananda, but Givananda. Give, give, and it shall be given unto you pressed and shaken and overflowing. You will weep at the greatness of this wonderful mahatma, Swami Sivanandaji Maharaj. We are alive, comfortable here. We have got full security from the government. We have no problems. Every kind of medicine for treatment is here. A wonderful library is here. And daily, unasked, we get food. We need not ask for food. Sivananda is everywhere—in North America, South America, Europe, Africa and Australia. Everywhere they know Swami Sivananda.

Tomorrow is the birthday of Sri Gurudev. For thanksgiving, as an offering of gratitude, we should try to be as he was, at least in a small modicum in our own selves, knowing at the same time what we want. The answer has already come. We want perpetual existence, universal existence, and eternal existence. That means to say, we want God-existence, Brahma-sakshat.

So we shall pray to the Almighty to give us strength to remember this great Master of the twentieth century who has shaken the minds of all slumbering people everywhere and awakened them to the consciousness of the existence of a higher life. Our obeisance to Swami Sivanandaji Maharaj!