Darshan of Swami Krishnananda in 1999

by Swami Krishnananda

38. Conviction That It Will Come

(Darshan given in October 1999)

Swamiji: ...it must come, and whatever you want, it will come. Immediately it will come. If you want anything, it will come just now. Somebody will bring, and give to you just now. You should not doubt how is it possible. Doubts are traitors. They distract your mind. They will say: “Useless man, foolish man, you are doing nothing. Go and do some work!” This voice was told to Christ also: “Why are you, foolish man, sitting here? Go.” And it told to Buddha also: “You are a foolish fellow. Get up and do some work.” It is not only Buddha; it is everybody. Everybody will hear this voice.

An ashramite: What should I do, Swamiji, when I hear that voice?

Swamiji: That is, the mind is not having full faith.

Ashramite: Yes, Swamiji, it is not having that conviction also.

Swamiji: You are still thinking: “I am a small man coming from such and such a place. I have got parents, I have got land and property.” This land and the whole thing is melted down into it. Your father, mother, yourself, and land and property melt down into a liquid of the ocean. They will all be inside you; like with molten gold, every ornament is inside it.

Ashramite: I want to have that conviction, Swamiji, faith in that.

Swamiji: If you want a good thing, do you want a faith for that? You will automatically go for it. If you have doubt that it is not a good thing, then it is no good. You are feeling that “This is not a good thing. It may do destruction to me.” But it won't destroy anything. It will enlarge you. Enlarging the personality looks like a destruction of personality.

Ashramite: Yes, Swamiji.

Swamiji: Saṁśayātmā vinaśyati (B.G. 4.40). What is Bhagavan in the Gita saying? “Everything is fine, but you have a doubt, a doubt about God Himself.”

Ashramite: Yes, Swamiji.

Swamiji: Then finished, om tat sat. A person who doubts God also...

Ashramite: Not doubt, Swamiji.

Swamiji: No, no. You have got doubt about the ability of God: He may not come like that. He may take years. But He doesn't come after years, because He is a timeless being. A timeless being does not come tomorrow. But you must have conviction: What I wish will take place.

Ashramite: How to have that strong conviction, Swamiji?

Swamiji: You forget yourself first. I am not saying forget everything. Forget that in which you are included, so there is no need of thinking of Him separately. You include yourself in that of which you are a part. But you are still persisting that you are separate.

Ashramite: No, Swamiji, however much I try, the individual being persists.

Swamiji: Because you are after something else. You are made up of some other substance. You are made up of the five elements. You are enjoying only a borrowed existence, and you are afraid that it will get larger. If a peon gets a hundred rupees salary and he is promoted to a tahsildar's post where he will get ten thousand rupees, will he be afraid: “Oh, I have lost my hundred rupees”?

Ashramite: But that mental weakness, Swamiji, it keeps on entering.

Swamiji: There is no mental weakness. You are creating the weakness which is not there.

Ashramite: The preconceived notions about ourselves.

Swamiji: [laughter] What is the use of talking? It is useless talk.

Ashramite: Yes, Swamiji. I understand, Swamiji.

Swamiji: When a peon becomes a tahsildar with a larger salary, will he feel that he has lost something? “I have lost the peonship, and that money is also gone.” Anybody thinks like that?

Ashramite: No, Swamiji.

Swamiji: [laughter] You are a small boy, so the maturity is not there. Om Namo Narayanaya.